Kings
by Random Flapdoodle
Summary: Now going to be a few oneshots about Kabuto and Orochimaru...sort of interconnected, but not really. Non yaoi. Rated higher just to be really safe. We are talking about Orochimaru here. Now 'complete' Maybe.
1. Kings

Authoress: Well, here's a little Naruto one-shot. Non-yaoi, as always. Uh…beware of creepiness and oddness.

Um…I don't own Naruto or any characters in this fic.

* * *

Yakushi Kabuto learned something that day. Actually, he learned a few things. First and foremost, he learned that couches aren't particularly comfortable. Especially when they smell. Secondly, he learned that his master was human. And that, in all truth, scared him to death.

He was curled up on said uncomfortable couch. However, he was so tired that he didn't care about the springs digging into his spine. He didn't care about the stale odor of sweat that hung in the cushions. It was 1:27 in the morning and Kabuto wanted to sleep. He'd been watching a movie, but had gotten bored and put the TV on mute. The colored light from the screen bounced off of the ceiling, lulling Kabuto into a daze. He blinked and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. He lay there for a few minutes, listening to his own heartbeat.

And then he was poked.

Kabuto growled. Being poked was not something he enjoyed. And whoever was prodding him would pay dearly. He kicked out blindly and came in contact with something that was definitely human. Probably his assailant's leg.

"Kabuto?" a male voice inquired mildly.

"Nhngu?" Kabuto groaned, pulling his blanket over his head. He was poked again.

"Ka-bu-to."

Kabuto was getting annoyed. He sat up abruptly, throwing his blanket on the floor. His ponytail had fallen out at some point and the sudden movement had jarred his glasses, causing them to fall into his lap.

"Will you knock it off?" he screamed hoarsely, clenching folds of fabric from his pants in his fists.

What Kabuto saw horrified him. Even though he was dreadfully nearsighted and his glasses were currently not on his face, he was able to make out the general appearance of the person who had been poking him. Long, dark hair. Pale skin. Eyes that looked suspiciously golden.

He had just screamed at (and previously kicked) Orochimaru.

His master.

Who was decidedly insane.

"Orochimaru-sama, I…" he choked dryly, hastily shoving his knees under him in a sort of crooked bow.

"Hello, Kabuto," Orochimaru purred. Kabuto chanced a look at him, after discreetly putting his glasses back on. There was something different about him. His eyes…they shone with an almost childlike curiosity. No, "childlike" wasn't an appropriate description, but it was as close as he was going to get. The point was that Orochimaru, S-class criminal, dangerous renegade originally from Konohagakure, looked virtually harmless right now.

Harmless.

Orochimaru.

Two words that, in a sane universe, could never exist in the same sentence.

Of course, Kabuto knew his master well enough to realize that the snakelike man could never be harmless. But to an outsider, at this moment, Orochimaru would appear to be a gentle (albeit odd-looking) man.

All of this weirdness made Kabuto very, very nervous.

"Kabuto?"

The pale-haired young man focused his attention back to Orochimaru. He grinned at his young servant, exposing unusually sharp teeth. A grin that would have seemed spine chilling to any other person actually calmed Kabuto greatly.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Trying to."

"I apologize for disturbing you."

Now things were getting odd again. Orochimaru didn't apologize for anything. Kings don't do such things. Then again, Kabuto supposed, "king" was not a fitting word for his master's rank in Otogakure. A "king" cared for his subjects and tried to make their lives pleasant.

Orochimaru didn't care.

And he didn't make any lives pleasant. It was usually quite the opposite. In fact, the only person Orochimaru had anything close to affection for (besides himself) was Kabuto. Everyone else was disposable.

"You seem to have quite a bit on your mind, Kabuto," Orochimaru observed casually, shifting his weight. Kabuto shrugged. It seemed that Orochimaru meant no harm, so he twisted out of his bow and sat on the couch normally. He pulled his discarded blanket onto his lap.

"Not really, sir. I'm just tired."

"Sleep then." It was a command, but it was spoken in a somewhat mild tone. And since it was a command, Kabuto obeyed, repositioning himself to lie down. He pulled the blanket over his body.

"Sleep well, Kabuto," Orochimaru called softly from down the hall. He had left without his servant even noticing.

Kabuto closed his eyes and smiled. His master had been in a very odd mood. Perhaps it was the late hour, or the full moon that night. Regardless, Kabuto realized that Orochimaru really was a king.

Sometimes.

* * *

Authoress: Wow, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Love, Loyalty, and Cats

Authoress: Well, my well-loved reviewers, you can be proud of yourselves. I've decided to continue this into a collection of one-shots involving Orochimaru and Kabuto. You have inspired me. I don't know how many there will be, maybe only these two. But enjoy. I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic.

Oh…and before you even start reading. This is non-yaoi. Regardless of the 'confession' towards the end. It's not meant to be romantic…merely the love of master to servant. It's not unheard of and I know that there must be some element of it between Kabuto and Orochimaru. I tried to keep them in character, I really did. But the whole point of this story is that Orochimaru is acting weird. sigh I'm not sure I'm happy with how this turned out, being that Orochimaru ended up so OOC. It wasn't intentional.

* * *

It was peaceful in the morning. Kabuto sat on the porch, staring out into the yard. It was a gorgeous piece of land, really. Not many people would have pegged Orochimaru for the type to appreciate beauty. Then again, he probably didn't care one way or the other; the majesty of the yard had little to do with human interference.

The grass was thick, soft, and at the moment, slick with shimmering golden dew. There were several trees in the yard, each no more than ten feet high. It was late spring, and they were in full blossom. Their sweet-scented white flowers shuddered in the gentle breeze that cooled the unusually warm air.

A soft mewl caught the ninja's attention. He turned to his left, looking at the dish of scraps he always left near the corner of the porch. A thin stray cat stood there, picking hesitantly at the food. Kabuto smiled. This creature was a friend of his, in fact, the reason he put that bowl of food out.

The cat was actually rather large, though fairly scrawny. She was mostly grey, with white on her muzzle, ears, paws, and tail. He hadn't named her, and she didn't seem to mind. On many occasions, the two of them would sit together, watching the sun either rise or set, Kabuto stroking her absently. He even talked to this cat, and she would listen intently, occasionally interjecting an irritated meow when he stopped petting her. After a time, she'd usually get bored and go to chase insects in the yard. And he would watch her contently.

This is exactly what she did now. The cat fairly leapt into the grass and began to roll around, mewling and sighing rather cutely the entire time. She nipped and swatted at grasshoppers, and rubbed her face in the grass.

Suddenly, she yowled in fear and surprise, springing up from the lawn. Her fur stood on end and she bared her sharp little teeth. Kabuto immediately saw why. His friend had inadvertently rolled over onto a massive snake.

His master's pet snake, Ikari. 1

Ikari was a python, about eight feet long, and weighing almost ninety pounds. She was pure black, which was unusual for a snake of her species.

And right now, the python was putting her massive strength to rather sinister use by wrapping her long body around his cat.

Kabuto tensed. He didn't want Ikari to kill his friend, but if he stopped her, he would be denying Orochimaru's pet her dinner. And that would not have very pleasing results.

"Please, Ikari, stop," Kabuto moaned under his breath. He hoped that his feline companion would think to defend herself and claw at the serpent. Then the cat might be able to get away…and it wouldn't be Kabuto's fault. But she did nothing of the sort; only cried helplessly. The white-haired boy chewed his lip nervously.

And then, he heard purring.

He squinted to make sure that his ears had not deceived him. His cat was now purring, and nuzzling Ikari's head enthusiastically. And in her own snaky way, Ikari was returning the affection. What Kabuto had seen to be an attack, meant to kill the cat, was now a gentle hug. The Otonin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, what did you expect?"

Kabuto whirled around. Orochimaru stood behind him, leaning against the wall of the house. He was smiling pensively out at the animals playing in the yard. His servant tried to position himself into a bow, but Orochimaru dismissed the action with a wave.

"What do you mean, Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto asked after a short pause. His master chuckled, and in one swift motion, sat down next to him.

"You mean you don't know the story?"

"No, sir. I'm afraid I don't."

"Ah, then I have failed as a teacher. For a child such as you, learning from a man such as I, should know the story of the cat and the snake by heart," Orochimaru sighed half-jokingly.

He suddenly tapped the ground with his foot, a signal to his pet. 2 Ikari obviously understood, for she slithered over to the two of them with surprising speed. Orochimaru lifted her up easily and slung her around his shoulders. Ikari turned toward Kabuto, her tongue flickering in and out, eyes cold and unblinking. He swallowed hard, trying not to look frightened.

It was odd that someone who could have lived with Orochimaru for so long could possibly have any uneasiness about snakes. In fact, it seemed almost ridiculous. Well, Kabuto was not exactly afraid of snakes, per se. He was simply intelligent enough to recognize how dangerous they could be.

Yes. That was what he kept telling himself about Orochimaru, too.

"She wouldn't hurt your cat, Kabuto. And," he added with a sly smile, "she wouldn't harm you, either."

"Ah…yes…of course, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto replied anxiously. He was mortified that the other man had seen his fear so easily. Orochimaru must have considered it some sort of insult that Kabuto was frightened of such an animal.

"Kabuto, are you…afraid of Ikari?" His voice was eerily tender, almost a croon. The younger man shifted uncomfortably.

"N-no, sir. No. I merely…I merely acknowledge her power and strength." Kabuto could only pray that this response satisfied his master.

It seemed to, as Orochimaru laughed quietly. He pulled the snake away from his servant, and kissed her head softly.

"Yes, you aren't stupid, Kabuto. I should have known your reasons…" he paused, "But enough of that. Who is your little friend over there?"

"Well, she…I guess she doesn't have a name. She's a stray. And I put food out for her. I don't think she's around every day…but I check for her. When she is here…I sit and pet her…" he trailed off, feeling that he was sounding increasingly childish.

"You know, if you feed a stray cat, it will never leave you alone," Orochimaru chided. Kabuto said nothing, but hung his head, embarrassed.

"I'm only _teasing_ you, Kabuto. My, you've been rather nervous lately. Is something wrong?"

Orochimaru was being unusually kind. And this, oddly enough, bothered Kabuto to no end. In fact, one might say that it was driving him insane.

"I've only been acting so weird because you've been acting weird, Orochimaru-sama! You aren't at all like yourself, lately. And I don't know what's going on!" Kabuto yelled suddenly. Orochimaru looked vaguely surprised at his outburst.

"…And how, exactly, have I been acting 'weird?'" Orochimaru's voice was somewhat colder than it had been. Kabuto was silent, and he regretted even speaking.

"I'm waiting for an answer, Kabuto."

"I…I…you've just been acting so…benevolent. And I-"

"So for in turn for my kindness, I receive distrust?" his master snapped. Kabuto chanced a fleeting look at Orochimaru. He was furious. His hands were clenched into tight fists, and his fangs were bared.

Kabuto sighed internally. He'd angered Orochimaru. That didn't happen particularly often, and with good reason. When he was young, he had gotten mouthy with his master.

Orochimaru didn't have particularly good self-control when he was mad.

And Kabuto had the scars to prove it.

On top of that, he tended to hold grudges for quite a while. So it was best to patch things up soon, before they got out of hand.

"Orochimaru-sama, sir…please listen to me for a minute. I…I only asked because…well…think of it this way. If the Konoha shinobi just decided to start emphasizing upper body training, you'd want to know why. It may just be that they have discovered weakness in that area. Or they might have some new weapon or fighting style that requires more strength in the arms and shoulders. The point is, you'd want to know the reason for the change in behavior, so that you can be prepared in battle with them." He said all of this quietly, not making eye contact.

There was a long, and rather painful pause. Then his master responded.

"That was a horrible metaphor," Orochimaru snorted, but he was giggling as he said it. Kabuto was relieved. He'd gotten him to laugh. That was a huge step in the right direction.

"And it wasn't very accurate, I suppose. But, sir, the basic idea was-"

"-the natural and irrepressible desire to know 'why?'" Orochimaru finished. The other nodded, meekly looking up at his master. The older man's anger had faded rather quickly, and he seemed preoccupied.

"I have…been acting 'weird' as of late, because…I have been thinking. About loyalty." Kabuto was silent, patiently waiting for Orochimaru's next words.

"And how such devotion has to go both ways, or it cannot exist at all. Sandaime was never loyal to me, he never fully trusted me. Look what happened. I ended up betraying him. Perhaps if my master had given me a chance, I'd still be in Konoha." What Orochimaru was saying made perfect sense to Kabuto. And it was obvious that this had been worrying him for a while now.

"So…to prevent…what happened with Sandaime…I have been…trying to show my loyalty to you, Kabuto," he offered softly, paused for a time, and then continued, "Faithfulness has many different aspects. It includes not only an unwillingness to betray or abandon the person you are loyal to…but…" Orochimaru trailed off, smiling and biting his lip.

"What is it, sir?" Kabuto asked, not letting his impatience show in his voice.

"I can scarcely believe that these words are coming out of my mouth. What I am about to say is quite uncharacteristic of me. And if repeated to anyone, will result in the painful death of a certain half-blind minion," he added ominously.

And what bothered Kabuto more than anything was that he was completely serious.

"Loyalty involves love. And I wanted to show you…that I love you, Kabuto," Orochimaru stated surprisingly easily. The words in and of themselves were such a contradiction to his earlier threats; it was no wonder Kabuto was confused.

Kabuto openly stared at his master. One word echoed over and over in his mind.

What?

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean, Kabuto." And the boy did. Yet, this didn't really soften the utter shock of hearing Orochimaru say what he just had.

"I know, sir. I know. And…and, Orochimaru-sama, I love you, too," Kabuto said quietly, shell-shocked, but sincere. Orochimaru smiled.

The two sat in silence, watching the sun rise into the sky. It would be a warm day, sunny and bright. They were master and servant, but so much more at the same time. They were renegades, perhaps, and that would never change. They had been brought together unwillingly, but coexisted peacefully.

Orochimaru and Kabuto were a team.

And they were also friends.

* * *

Authoress: Well…I didn't even get to the story of the cat and the snake.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry if this was overly WAFF-y (Warm And Fuzzy Feelings). I tried to keep them in character. But they wouldn't listen. This entire fanfic just sort of did its own thing. My original intentions were shot after Oro said he was teasing Kabuto.

I have this really bad habit of not keeping people in character and making fanfics overly WAFF-y. And both of these bad habits reared their ugly heads in this chapter. I did what I could to stop them. But it just didn't work out.

Maybe it's not as bad as I'm thinking. Well, this is it, and think what you may.

1 Ikari is Japanese for "wrath" in case you care where that came from.

2 Snakes are completely deaf. So it would be pointless for Orochimaru to call the snake over to him. They feel vibrations through the ground as their hearing, which is why he stomped his foot.


	3. Host

Authoress: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic. Be warned...this chapter is insanely short. I have no clue why I wrote it...just sort of happened.

* * *

Sasuke. How Kabuto hated him.

Kabuto wanted to kill him.

Even though the boy was miles away, he was constantly on Orochimaru's mind. Sasuke's name was always on the tip of his tongue.

Kabuto should have killed him.

But Orochimaru wanted Sasuke alive. And who was Kabuto to deny Orochimaru what he wanted? He couldn't have gone through with it. Orochimaru had known that all along.

Sometimes his master was very cruel.

Still, his hate for Sasuke grew and festered. Every day, Orochimaru spoke of the raven-haired Uchiha. Every single day. And it drove Kabuto absolutely insane. It would only get worse when the stupid kid finally decided to come to Otogakure.

"Kabuto, how long do you think it will be until Sasuke comes to me?" Orochimaru asked. His servant gritted his teeth, but was careful not to let his anger show.

"I don't know, sir."

"I think he will make a very nice host, don't you?"

Host?

Kabuto grinned.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama, I really think so." Kabuto turned around to face his master to find that he was gone.

"Let your mind rest easy tonight, Kabuto. Sasuke…will never be you," Orochimaru purred from behind him.

And Kabuto did sleep well that night. The next morning, his pillow was not damp with the bitter tears of his nightmares, as it had been for so many mornings before.

* * *

Authoress: Wow…short. Very short. And creepier than the others. 


	4. Sundae

Authoress: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic. Oh, interesting side note; Kabuto is one inch taller and seventeen pounds heavier than Orochimaru. Roughly. I discovered this through my random conversions of their metric stats to the English system.

* * *

No person is without some sort of vice or bad habit. Tsunade had her gambling, Jiraiya his perversion, Naruto his utter cluelessness, Sasuke his disgustingly superior attitude.

Kabuto had his sweet tooth.

It was 6:30 in the morning.

And Kabuto was making himself and ice cream sundae.

He was an early riser, and this was breakfast. Oh and what a breakfast it would be.

He loved chocolate beyond any other flavor, so he was using chocolate and marshmallow ice cream. Kabuto also loved the various syrups that one could put on a sundae. He slathered caramel, chocolate, peanut butter, butterscotch, and strawberry sauces all over the ice cream. Next came the other toppings. Onto the already drowned sundae, Kabuto threw chocolate chips, crushed graham crackers, crushed cookies, gummy worms, gummy bears sprinkles, cherries, whipped cream, four different types of crushed candies, and some marshmallows for good measure.

All of this took him about twenty minutes. When he was done, he studied the dessert like a king surveying his kingdom. Kabuto grinned.

_That_ was a sundae.

And now, to eat it. He sat down and glanced at the clock. Six fifty. Orochimaru didn't wake up until well after eight, usually, so he was safe.

Why didn't Kabuto want his master to see him? Well, it was kind of strange that anyone would be eating such a monstrosity of an ice cream sundae at 6:50 a.m. He wasn't quite sure how Orochimaru would react. And he preferred not to find out. He realized that he hadn't gotten himself a spoon, and got up to get one. As he (quietly) rummaged through the silverware drawer, he wondered what Orochimaru might say if he were to walk into the room at this moment. He shuddered at the thought.

Kabuto seemed to be having difficulty finding a spoon. For some reason, he couldn't locate any silverware. Oh, he found soup ladles, spatulas, and whisks, but no flatware. This irritated him, because his sundae was melting. Shooting a glance at his breakfast, he quickly amended that he probably wouldn't be able to tell.

During his search for a utensil, Kabuto realized that he had forgotten a few key toppings; peanuts (honey-roasted, his favorite) hot fudge, pretzels, chocolate-covered pretzels, and pocky (1). As he put five sticks of each flavor of pocky (chocolate, strawberry, and almond crunch) into the sundae, he realized that he might just have to use a soup ladle. It would have to do.

But of course, now he couldn't find the soup ladle.

"You know, if you're looking for a spoon, I moved all of the silverware to the drawer by the dishwasher."

Kabuto froze. He turned around slowly. Orochimaru stood, leaning in the doorway, grinning.

"My, you're up early. Are you always awake at this hour?"

"Good morning, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto greeted, trying to sound calm. Amazingly, Orochimaru hadn't noticed the sugary mess that was Kabuto's sundae.

The snake charmer walked over to the dishwasher, pulled open the drawer there, and got out a spoon. He set it on the table.

And saw the ice cream. He stared at it for a few moments, blinking.

"Kabuto…what is this?"

"Uh…it's a sundae, sir."

"Is it?" Orochimaru sounded genuinely surprised.

"Yes, sir."

"You are having a sundae…at seven o'clock in the morning. Breakfast?" The younger of the two nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"Tsk, tsk, Kabuto. That's not very nutritious," Orochimaru scolded playfully, smirking. He sat down at the table, and his servant joined him.

"I know, sir, but it's pretty good. Do…do you want to try it?" he asked almost shyly. Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, staring at the concoction.

"Not before you do." Both of them laughed, as Kabuto got up to get Orochimaru a spoon. He retrieved one and sat down again. Orochimaru scooped up a spoonful of the sundae and ate it.

"There…was something chewy in that," he remarked somewhat uneasily. Kabuto grinned at him reassuringly.

"Don't worry Orochimaru-sama. It was probably only a gummy worm." The man shot him a quizzical look.

"'Probably?' Lovely. What…pray tell is in this?" Kabuto rattled off all of his secret ingredients cheerfully, occasionally scooping some of the melting dessert into his mouth. When he finished, Orochimaru was laughing hysterically.

"You're certainly creative, Kabuto, I'll give you that. But aren't you going to get a stomachache from all of that sugar?" The boy shook his head and snorted.

"No. I've done this before. I can handle it."

The two then settled into their comfortable morning routine. Orochimaru began to make his coffee and an English muffin. Kabuto continued to scarf down his sundae. When Orochimaru sat down to eat, his servant was almost done with his 'breakfast.'

"You're going to be really sick," Orochimaru warned casually, sipping his coffee.

"No, sir, I don't think I will."

Kabuto polished off the rest of it and smiled. He belched loudly.

"Excuse me," he said politely, and put his bowl and the spoons in the dishwasher.

"Kabuto?"

"Yes, sir?"

"What possessed you to create such a…sundae?"

"I've got a terrible sweet tooth, Orochimaru-sama."

* * *

Authoress: That had to be the most utterly pointless thing I have ever written. I don't know what purpose this chapter served…but I hope you liked it.

(1) - I highly doubt that there are a lot of people that don't know what pocky is, but I'll explain anyway. It's a Japanese dessert, a biscuit stick covered in either chocolate, strawberry cream, or chocolate with almonds. (I'm sure there are other kinds, but those are the ones that I mentioned.)


	5. Milking

Authoress: I LOVE YOU GUYS! I seriously just want to thank all of my reviewers and readers. I'm amazed at how many hits this little fic is getting. And I really appreciate all of the reviews. Thank you so much!

This particular idea has been swimming around in my head for months. Well, not so much the idea of the plot, as the idea of Orochimaru's mouth.

To fully understand this, you have to know a bit about the mouth of a venomous snake. Think of a snake fang, long, narrow and curved. This fang, in a viper, will fold up and rest on the roof of the mouth. Just keep that in your head while you read this. Or you can search on the Internet to get a better idea.

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic.

* * *

Orochimaru had been very sick for quite a while now. It had started out with him complaining of excruciating headaches. The headaches had gotten more frequent, and then they never went away. He had been bedridden for over two weeks now.

And he was getting worse.

Now he had a fever, and his temperature was rising by the hour. Kabuto couldn't figure out what could be wrong with him. He'd run every test he knew and all had come back negative. Orochimaru was perfectly healthy.

Except for the fact that he obviously wasn't.

Kabuto entered his master's dark room with some water. He approached the bed silently, fearing (and half expecting) that Orochimaru had died.

He certainly looked dead at this point. He lay on top of the blankets, breathing shallowly. During the course of the past month he had lost almost twenty pounds. Orochimaru had been a very slim 126 when he was healthy, and Kabuto knew he couldn't afford to lose much more weight. Though that was almost the least of his problems. His normally pale face was flushed with fever. As Kabuto knelt by his bed, Orochimaru opened his eyes slowly. They were dull and bloodshot.

"Orochimaru-sama, I have some water for you," he whispered, sitting down on the bed. His master turned his head away weakly.

"Sir, you have to drink." Kabuto slid his hand gently under Orochimaru's neck, so he wouldn't choke on the water. The man resisted feebly, swatting at his servant's hand.

"Not…not thirsty," he hissed quietly. But Kabuto barely heard him.

Instead, the medic nin was trying to determine what the two golf ball-sized lumps at the base of Orochimaru's skull were. They felt almost like grapes; firm, but liquid-filled.

Against his better judgment, Kabuto pressed on one of them lightly.

He was rewarded with an ear-shattering scream of agony. Touching that swelling had been a bad mistake. Orochimaru continued to howl, as he clawed at the back of his head. Expectedly, Kabuto was taken by surprise. He dropped the bottle of water and, for the first time in his life, abandoned his master.

-----

Kabuto sat on the couch, deep in thought. Whatever those lumps were, he was pretty sure that they were causing Orochimaru's headaches, at the very least. It was possible that they were the cause of his entire sickness.

But what were they?

A nameless cobra slithered past his feet. It was one of the few venomous species that his master kept. Almost as if to scold Kabuto for leaving Orochimaru, the cobra hissed at him. When he ignored it, the snake merely yawned.

And Kabuto noticed the two bumps on the back of the snake's head.

-----

He was back in Orochimaru's room only ten minutes after leaving. It appeared that the man had drifted into a light, fitful sleep.

"Orochimaru-sama, wake up," he said quietly, setting his tools down on the nightstand. Orochimaru's eyes opened sluggishly at first, but flew open when he saw his servant. He pulled his body to the other side of the bed, face contorted with anger. But, as Kabuto continued to observe him, he saw an alien emotion that tried to disguise itself as anger.

Terror.

"It's alright, sir. I'm not going to hurt you again. In fact, I think I can help you to feel a lot better." Orochimaru lifted an eyebrow. The gesture was so utterly…Orochimaru-like that Kabuto had to laugh.

"Don't worry, sir. You'll feel much better when I'm done." Kabuto then picked up one of the items he had set on the table. It looked like a goblet, but with some sort of cover stretched over the top (1).

"Sir, I'm going to need you to bite down on this, OK?" He held it close to his master's mouth. Orochimaru stared at it tentatively. Kabuto gave him a pleading look. When the older man opened his mouth to bite, his servant nearly dropped the goblet.

Kabuto had seen the fangs of a venomous snake before, but this took him by surprise. Orochimaru had not one, but _five_ sets of viper-like fangs. Each tooth of the first pair was nearly three inches long, and was located just behind Orochimaru's human teeth. The second set was closer together, and the fangs were slightly shorter. This continued all the way back to the last set, where each tooth was a little under an inch long. Kabuto guessed that the odd spacing of the teeth was so that when the folded, the shorter fangs rested neatly within the longer ones.

Orochimaru grinned weakly at Kabuto's reaction, then sank his teeth into the filmy covering of the container. Immediately, a viscous light yellow fluid literally poured from his fangs (all ten of them) into the glass goblet. Both parties looked a bit surprised, and Orochimaru started to squirm nervously.

"It's OK, sir, relax. It's OK," Kabuto reassured, smiling gently at his master.

The cup filled up within minutes, and Kabuto pulled it away from Orochimaru. He carefully removed the covering, and emptied the liquid into the large glass beaker he had brought. He replaced the cover, and gave it back to Orochimaru.

This process was repeated four more times, and afterwards, Orochimaru was looking significantly healthier. Kabuto emptied the goblet for the last time, and screwed the top onto the beaker.

"Do you feel any better, Orochimaru-sama?" The snake man nodded and grinned weakly.

"You haven't fought lately, and so you haven't gotten to use your venom. But your body kept making it. The lumps I touched were your venom glands, and they were causing your headaches because of how swollen they were. And then you just got worse and worse because of the venom being absorbed into your bloodstream, since your glands couldn't hold any more. Essentially, you were poisoning yourself," Kabuto sighed, adjusting his glasses, "but you should be fine now."

He turned around to leave the room and let his master rest.

"Kabuto?"

The younger man looked at Orochimaru.

"Thank you."

"Of course, sir."

* * *

Authoress: Whew. Sorry this one took so long, it was Easter so I was a bit busy. I like how this one turned out. But I was listening to happy sweet Naruto music, so that might have influenced this a bit.

(1) I'm not making this up. That is basically what is actually used to milk venomous snakes to make antivenom. Although, it's been a while since I've seen one.


	6. Hills

Authoress: I don't know about this one…it's really, really, really odd.

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic. (I think my disclaimers need to get a bit more creative.)

* * *

Kabuto stood at the window, staring out at the Rice Field lands, sipping his tea slowly. The clouds that hung over the hills that day were dark and foreboding. It would storm soon. That would be quite a relief, truth be told. The weather had been hot and muggy, and Kabuto hated it. A cold front was moving in, and temperatures were expected to drop dramatically.

He noted that there were no birds in the sky, and the entire area seemed to squirm nervously, anticipating the storm. A rumble of thunder in the distance seemed to make the hills shake.

Kabuto, on the other hand, was at peace with the storm. Such things didn't bother him. He took another sip of his tea and sighed.

A snake decided to drop in on him right then…quite literally. Ikari fell from seemingly nowhere (but probably the rafters above him) onto this shoulders, nearly making him drop his cup.

"Augh, Ikari-san," he cried, slightly irritated. He set the tea down and stumbled over to the couch, trying to support Ikari's wriggling weight. There, he set her down on the cushions, giving her a gentle pat as he walked away.

To his displeasure, Kabuto found that the snake literally grabbed his wrist with her tail as he tried to leave.

"Ikari-san, come on. Let go. Please?" he groaned tiredly, knowing full well that she couldn't hear him.

"She's uneasy because of the oncoming storm." Orochimaru approached the two of them. He picked Ikari up carefully. Oddly enough, she coiled herself into a ball in his arms, as opposed to wrapping her body around him, as she normally did.

"Now, now, Ikari, you leave Kabuto alone. He has very important 'staring out the window' business to do," he teased, looking more at his servant than his snake. Kabuto laughed and petted Ikari a bit. She flickered her tongue at his hand.

It was an unusual sight, two men standing around petting a snake, as you might pet a cat or dog.

"Really though. What _were_ you up to, Kabuto?"

"Oh…just looking at the hills, sir. This storm must have some strong winds; they look like they're moving a lot." Orochimaru frowned, looking out the window. He strode towards it, Kabuto following him.

"Hills…?" he murmured under his breath, then burst into laughter. Kabuto subtly cringed away; Orochimaru's cackles could frighten a statue.

"Child…those are not hills…" his master chuckled in his ear. Thunder crashed. Ikari tensed violently in her master's arms, hissing and coiling angrily. No one but Orochimaru could have seen Kabuto flinch, as slight as the action was.

"Then…then…what do you mean, sir?" Kabuto asked hesitantly.

"Look closer, Kabuto."

As Kabuto examined the hills more closely, he realized that they appeared to have scales. One of the hills rose out of the ground. Two golden eyes stared directly at the mansion. The snake-like animal opened its mouth in an enormous yawn, exposing fangs at least forty feet long. It laid down again, but not before stretching its many muscles, causing every hill in sight to ripple.

Kabuto stared out at the creature, trying desperately not to scream.

"Oh." The word was barely spoken.

"Isn't he magnificent?"

"Who--what--is he?"

Orochimaru walked over to the couch and sat down.

"I really don't know what he is. Some kind of monster, I suppose. He isn't mine…he's been here since before the creation of the Sound. He and the inhabitants, pardon, former inhabitants were always at war with each other. He has scars everywhere from their spears and swords. And…he's not fond of humans in general. I went out to see him once…he threatened my life…very colorful vocabulary he has," Orochimaru snorted, caressing Ikari's head.

"I…I see. So…he's just…there?" Kabuto wondered aloud. His master nodded and sighed.

"Yes, Kabuto." He set Ikari down on the floor, and she climbed up into the rafters a few seconds later.

"People…people are very cruel, Orochimaru-sama."

Thunder crashed again. The monster outside cried out loudly, flexing its muscles to make the hills tremble. He then rested again, and the landscape fell silent.

The monster inside smiled and laughed.

* * *

Authoress: I have no idea where that came from. It's not one of my better chapters…but it just needed to come out. Hopefully, I'll get the chance to revise it later on.

Unfortunately, I am officially out of ideas for the time being. This could be the last chapter.


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